Sadness you call to me again,
An old friend phoning home.
While it hurts my throat,
I still choke on hello
To greet you,
To feel something
Saying “empathy”
In your luring tone,
In the way you say,
“I miss you.”



I miss you my friend

I miss when writing came easy,
When words flowed from my veins,
Falling into perfect lines,
Flowing into flawless sounds.

I miss when mind and body would meet,
When I could write as fast as my thoughts,
Pouring blues and reds to purple,
Painting pictures using only word.

I miss when my thoughts sung in tune with these hands…



I’m losing consciousness,
Getting stuck in motionless



I feel the fight of survival,
A panic, a switch, a black out…
Back and forth opposites extremes.
I’m not two faced, I’m just confused,
Spasmodic frequencies leave me
Disconnected, broken up, it’s only feelings,
Lighten up, darken down,
I feel them both, a clashing pair.
I forget just who I am and where I’m at,
Because sometimes I feel the fight of survival
I have to remind myself that we’re not rivals.



Today feels out of ordinary,
Different, today feels not the same.
I have dug down deep inside,
It’s not my first time playing this game.
I have pulled out splintered bones,
Thrown out dreams and withered hopes.
I have choked on lies that aren’t mine,
On glittered hearts, and candied eyes.
I have swallowed terrifying truths,
Icy winds, and heartbreak too.
But I keep breathing life in breaths,
[Exhale] Out with the old,
[Inhale] In with the new.



I heard we must heal to grow,
But I feel stunted by the pain.
How can I expand,
When I keep pulling myself inside?
How do I improve,
When I just want to hide?
I hear the voice of reason,
Like a mouse that tries to shout.
Still, it’s difficult to really listen,
As my mind is yelling,
“Let me out!”


Commotion in motion

I fall down while standing up.
My mind runs while sitting down.
I spin too fast when I hold still.
Motionless, My heart stops,
I feel the world spin around,
A full circle.