Future🌎❤️🙌

I grew up thinking
Freedom meant free,
But now I am older
And that’s not what I see.
I see people who think they know best,
Telling us all what to do
And so much more, never nothing less.
So I cover my ears,
Block conservative spears
Thrown from old, privileged folks
Too good for calm tokes.
But… I’m young so I’ll wait,
In the world the old made,
Planting trees that you killed,
Cleaning oceans you filled,
Building up women you beat down,
Taking back rights.
I’ll fight for love (the freedom to choose)
May it always win
Controlling others is the only sin.



a.l.c

***The future is… Freedom, Love, Female, Vibrant, Unconditional, Choice, Open Minded, Accepting, Green, Without Violence, Now, WHATEVER YOU WANT.


			

The old oak

I still ache at thoughts
Kept to myself,
How the longing of
Connection
Makes me feel
L o n e l y.


a.l.c

Hidden fruit

A blue apricot sits ripe,
Among bananas, next to the lime,
Feeling over looked, just this time.
And maybe tomorrow,
Perhaps breakfast would be fine,
It will finally be noticed
And then it will die.


a.l.c

**Apricots are brightly colored and I don’t think anyone would usually think of an apricot as a representation of something timid, sad, or feeling down at all. I used a blue apricot(not moldy🙄🤦‍♀️) to represent outside vs inside of human emotion, feeling we are different than others and our need and desire to be amongst others and to be accepted there. “…and then it will die,” I was thinking of how we often desire to be accepted, but then we lose ourself to have that.

Under the blue roses 💙🥀🤫

Dont say those words
That pierce my heart,
That sting my eyes
With forced cowards lies.
I hear punches in the silent sounds
Of the haunted conversations,
In lost ghost towns.
And while flowers bloom,
Their roots may rot,
Way deep in the soil,
Where our hearts are caught.


a.l.c

**Where do thoughts/things go when we don’t talk about them?💭😶 Perhaps underground, with seeds we once planted?… 🌱🌹🌻🌷

Psychogenic Aphonia🧠😶

A build up of courage
I worked hard to grow,
On the tip of my tongue,
As far as my words go.
This silence is boring now
With all of this sound…
I feel disconnected
As I see you frown.
I promise I’m trying,
Behind cowards lips,
I have so much to say
With silent fingertips.
A throat full of chaos
Only wanting to be shared,
A heart with happy secrets
I want to say but I’m scared.
I think you might listen,
If only I could talk,
Then we could have a conversation,
Instead of quiet thoughts.



a.l.c

*
**
***Psychogenic Aphonia is only being used as a title for this piece. While it fits perfectly for the emotion I meant to convey, it is an actual voice disorder… an interesting one that I found myself suddenly researching for no other reason than curiosity🧐. Psychogenic aphonia is a voice disorder where psychological/emotional factors or difficulties (anxiety, depression, fear, traumatic events, not “speaking up,” etc.) cause sudden and significant negative changes in voice quality(dysphonia), and can even extend to complete voice loss (aphonia). I read that on the internet💁‍♀️ (https://web.nmsu.edu/~lleeper/pages/Voice/nelson/information.html) <—one of the pages I stumbled on that was easier to understand.

Hard truth

A lie that lives
Between two sighs,
It’s not much,
Except to you
and I.
While you say
That you will try,
My mouth smiles,
As my heart cries.

I know to you,
It’s never a lie…
but we both know,
Looking eye to eye,
Only a sad secret
Between you
and I.

a.l.c

(IG- pouringtruth)

Dark days

Time passes before being noticed,
Only ordinary days come and go.
I feel sorry every sunrise
And hopeful every sundown.

Reaching for past things,
Not much matters
Now.

a.l.c

**I often find myself waking up and not doing the things I had said I would do the night before… the simple act of “not” doing things that can sometimes darken the whole day. Lucky us when we get to try again the next day.🌅🌄

IG-pouringtruth

Magnum Opus

We cling together like wet glitter,
A child’s rainy day project,
Pieces of innocence glued together
To make a masterpiece or lost art.

Pure love only paints passion,
A symbol often forgotten
With age.

a.l.c

Sapphire sadness

Little bits of truth spill out…
A glowing drip of light
Brightens the darkness
Only slightly.
I still hold back
To keep what stays inside…
A diamond only bleeding blue,
A sad tear that sounds of foreign
Languages, pronouncing truths
Misunderstood.

a.l.c

Tea parties🫖

Tea parties

Pink plastic chairs,
Our dolls curly hairs,
All set up, a tiny table,
Two little girls playing fables.
Now years have passed
And we have grown,
I often find myself sitting alone…
In my grown up adult home,
Remembering memories
And sipping tea,
Wondering how this came to be.

a.l.c

Skipping stones

I often find myself
Down lost paths of thought,
Where I pick flowers
While I walk…
And sometimes
When the sun is out,
I walk further to the stream,
Then stop and toss some pebbles,
Throwing worries out for dreams.
Skipping stones


a.l.c








**Did you know skipping stones spend 100 times longer in air than they do on water? This is because air is about 780 times less dense than water, making very little impact to the flight of the rock. Like a skipping stone, many let their dreams only skim the surface of their reality, spending more time in air as thoughts in our heads.

King and Queen in recluse

Again, I am left breathing stiff air…
Almost alone, warm sets on the horizon,
Another day turns dark from mourning.
How easily each day slips by me,
Falling away, betrayal at best.
I weep for light that has gone dim,
A star up in the night,
The last flicker before shut eye,
My heart beats with thunders roar…
I, the one thrown in the lions den,
Find a new strength with solace.
Both of us now majestic beasts,
Hermits cast out by feared notability.
I weave us two crowns.

a.l.c

Part of the collective

I am only another sad soul,
Left behind to whither.
Yes, I have bones that now are frail,
My courage weak
Or just average like middle.

I am only another girl
Or maybe just a woman
That has gone inside herself.
But my heart is big and warm and good,
Inside ribs that are have turned brittle.

I am only just another… soul,
Maybe just lost among the others.
Because I have thoughts
I think are small,
But for some reason still matter.

a.l.c

**I believe we exist both for ourselves and for others, by others I mean all living things including our earth. All life is connected and important. No one star lights up the night sky alone. It can be easy in a busy, crowded world to feel small or insignificant, but we don’t realize how important we actually are individually in the collective/universal mind.

Grayscale

Easy it is to write it in white,
Soothing to read,
A positive ray of light.
But you over look the truth,
When you refuse to accept
The dark and the shadows
And the black of the night.

Now here we sit,
Me and my blue,
Next to you and your yellow lies.
But it’s all laid out in front of us,
So clearly in black and white.

a.l.c

**There is always black and white, light and dark in everything. I believe it’s important to be able to see all sides in everything, without judgment. We search for light and happiness and we run away from things that make us feel any less because we have already decided feeling any other way is unacceptable and uncomfortable. For many, it’s easy to embrace the light and difficult to look in the shadows, often denying its existence for our own comfort. This makes us miss out on experiencing all the parts of our spiritual human experience. We miss out on connections with others because we are unable to truly understand them when we refuse to see through their eyes. Don’t be afraid to see all sides, don’t be afraid to feel.

Repression

Alone again, I find myself
With thoughts I’m shy to say.
I am weakened by fantasies of us
And my body whines and begs.
Why am I embarrassed,
Cursed with woman shame??
I’m the only one that knows
When my mind plays this game.
Still I turn red to think the words
My lips burn hot to say,
So I am wounded by unmet needs,
Bruised, heavy with body’s heartbreak.

a.l.c

***All creatures are born as sexual beings, it is only societal shame that makes us think it is not normal, not acceptable. This is especially true for women as most have been taught/told from a young age even how to sit “appropriately”, while boys get to sit however. (Though there is sexual shame surrounding men/masculinity as well.) From a young age we watch our own mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers go about their lives worrying how their actions and behaviors might “tease” men or be judged as “wrong” by other women. If we want to be seen/treated as equal, it needs to be in all areas… including ones that are difficult, embarrassing, or considered taboo to talk about. Desire and sexuality are only human, in men and women.

Eve

I will hold space for you,
In my heart,
In my womb.
Another petal bruised
Affects my garden too.
So many colors,
So many shapes,
The masterpiece of woman.
Who would hurt something
So delicate, so welcoming,
So…soft with the need to love,
Heavy with desire to be loved?

I will hold space for you,
We can stand tall together.
Welcome the wind now,
I will catch you if you fall.

a.l.c

(IG-pouringtruth)

Dipsomaniac

It turns into addiction
When you start to hurt yourself,
When one leads to another
And another leads to more.
I stand by and I watch you,
Your sadness brings out my pity,
But still I want to hold you,
I know this world is scary.
I also know that it’s a lie
When you say that you’re done,
Because when I turn my head away
I hear you pour another one.

a.l.c

Reticent

You speak lies
Behind what you call
Honesty.

I tell the truth,
Hoping
You’ll know.

But so few words
May as well go
Unheard.

A voice muffled
by fear,
Is only words
Unspoken.

-a.l.c

Dynamic Orange

You’ve got red shoes
Only to dance on life’s fire,
A practiced choreography
Or just your quickstep.

I wear a yellow jacket,
Long with swallowtail,
A shield of protection
Or just my birthright.

-a.l.c

Life in fear

We are scared of what we don’t understand,
So we cover our faces
And we stop touching hands.
Tell me please, how this makes sense,
When immunity goes does down
And our trust becomes less.
People look away now,
Too scared to offer help,
Because “what about me?”
Its just fear and insecurities.
Who told you to feel the way that you feel?
Who told you what is right and what is wrong?
We listen to “leaders”, internet, and tv,
When we forget to hear ourselves,
We forget humanity.
These “Authorities” they give advice,
Like urgent demanding orders…
Think about it for a minute,
Or maybe even twice.
You only have one life to live,
Look inside yourself
You should be the leader of it.

-a.l.c

Who told you to feel the way that you feel?? Who told you what is right and what is wrong??