Poetry and words
Honestly,
I’m so full of secrets,
but only the happy kind.
I’m just too scared to share them,
Even just in my own mind.
And so…
Because I can’t speak up
I keep almost missing out,
Between our silly silence
As my brain begins to shout.
And so…
Time keeps passing by,
Though I remain still.
How can I expect a change
If I cannot find the will?
a.l.c
Another color, just another thought
Lost upon a blank sheet,
I paint without words,
Creating a lost masterpiece.
I dream of galleries
And my books in libraries
But…
I dream, only dreams
Behind shy realities.
a.l.c
Stretched long by thoughts
Unable to be controlled,
I recoil in days lights,
Only hoping to be comforted
by nights shining stars.
The dark watches me struggle,
Maybe just giving tough love.
But I cry out for a friendly face
Or the softness of kind shoulders…
A silent siren, a muted warning,
Just an unheard intention
Forgotten by fear.
a.l.c
I am only another sad soul,
Left behind to whither.
Yes, I have bones that now are frail,
My courage weak
Or just average like middle.
I am only another girl
Or maybe just a woman
That has gone inside herself.
But my heart is big and warm and good,
Inside ribs that are have turned brittle.
I am only just another… soul,
Maybe just lost among the others.
Because I have thoughts
I think are small,
But for some reason still matter.
a.l.c
**I believe we exist both for ourselves and for others, by others I mean all living things including our earth. All life is connected and important. No one star lights up the night sky alone. It can be easy in a busy, crowded world to feel small or insignificant, but we don’t realize how important we actually are individually in the collective/universal mind.
A soft trail of sweet nothings,
Just things we barely said.
A flower bed of somethings,
Only things we sort of did.
Behind a lens blurred out
Like stars,
We kiss on foreheads,
Before showing our scars.
a.l.c
I call you out,
Another guilt filled line…
For us both.
Between clenched teeth
Lies surface upon chapped lips,
Still sealed with regret
Neither of us should have.
a.l.c
A forest turned black
Beneath a blanket of ash
Evicts creatures from their homes.
While somewhere carelessly
Another human celebrates
Self-centeredness,
Lighting a fire of its own.
a.l.c
follow me on IG pouringtruth
Easy it is to write it in white,
Soothing to read,
A positive ray of light.
But you over look the truth,
When you refuse to accept
The dark and the shadows
And the black of the night.
Now here we sit,
Me and my blue,
Next to you and your yellow lies.
But it’s all laid out in front of us,
So clearly in black and white.
a.l.c
**There is always black and white, light and dark in everything. I believe it’s important to be able to see all sides in everything, without judgment. We search for light and happiness and we run away from things that make us feel any less because we have already decided feeling any other way is unacceptable and uncomfortable. For many, it’s easy to embrace the light and difficult to look in the shadows, often denying its existence for our own comfort. This makes us miss out on experiencing all the parts of our spiritual human experience. We miss out on connections with others because we are unable to truly understand them when we refuse to see through their eyes. Don’t be afraid to see all sides, don’t be afraid to feel.
I worry these words will fail me,
As feeling mute becomes familiar.
I bite my tongue more than not,
Only to hold on to every thought.
How vaguely, dense words become
When left to sit turning stale,
Thought to fade out
The way night dims from day.
Stories in my throat
Speak up into my brain,
Where I shove all my secrets
And stupid shit I never say.
a.l.c
Come with me
And you will see
A place called amie’s brain.
You’ll fall inside,
Then run and hide,
No shelter from the rain.
But come with me,
I promise you’ll see
A place that looks insane.
You’ll fall inside
Where you can’t hide,
Just to know my name.
-a.l.c
Stuck between fear and hope,
I look through shades too closed.
The sun does light up the sky,
But it will not light up your life
Unless you let it.
I hold my head up to the moon,
Eerie, but always silver tongued.
The one who said, “man in the moon,”
Must not have spent that much time
Just sitting, being, looking at you.
The comfort of human emotions,
The moon never discredits you.
In the dark of the night
She holds you with the stars…
She will still kiss your lips,
Even after seeing your scars.
a.l.c
A pin drops in an empty room,
Spiders scatter like demons.
Another home painted bare,
Another black ghosts
Lonely, vacant stare.
A house that echoes,
But never talks…
Still, around every corner
Silent, secrets knock.
A mad house, some called it,
So it was condemned
too soon.
I had so much hope
That got lost
In that one safe room.
a.l.c
Alone again, I find myself
With thoughts I’m shy to say.
I am weakened by fantasies of us
And my body whines and begs.
Why am I embarrassed,
Cursed with woman shame??
I’m the only one that knows
When my mind plays this game.
Still I turn red to think the words
My lips burn hot to say,
So I am wounded by unmet needs,
Bruised, heavy with body’s heartbreak.
a.l.c
***All creatures are born as sexual beings, it is only societal shame that makes us think it is not normal, not acceptable. This is especially true for women as most have been taught/told from a young age even how to sit “appropriately”, while boys get to sit however. (Though there is sexual shame surrounding men/masculinity as well.) From a young age we watch our own mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers go about their lives worrying how their actions and behaviors might “tease” men or be judged as “wrong” by other women. If we want to be seen/treated as equal, it needs to be in all areas… including ones that are difficult, embarrassing, or considered taboo to talk about. Desire and sexuality are only human, in men and women.
I will hold space for you,
In my heart,
In my womb.
Another petal bruised
Affects my garden too.
So many colors,
So many shapes,
The masterpiece of woman.
Who would hurt something
So delicate, so welcoming,
So…soft with the need to love,
Heavy with desire to be loved?
I will hold space for you,
We can stand tall together.
Welcome the wind now,
I will catch you if you fall.
a.l.c
(IG-pouringtruth)
It turns into addiction
When you start to hurt yourself,
When one leads to another
And another leads to more.
I stand by and I watch you,
Your sadness brings out my pity,
But still I want to hold you,
I know this world is scary.
I also know that it’s a lie
When you say that you’re done,
Because when I turn my head away
I hear you pour another one.
a.l.c
A sliver in time
Shows remorse for souls left lost,
Suns rays dimming now.
Silence shows us blues in truth,
A reminder to listen.
-a.l.c
Maybe I am only lonely
When lost in thoughts
That try and own me.
Maybe lonely only stole me
Just wanting to be close,
Only trying to know me.
Maybe this is the only
Silence, this empty space
I keep hearing scream,
Calling out to me,
Saying, “Listen closely.”
a.l.c
You speak lies
Behind what you call
Honesty.
I tell the truth,
Hoping
You’ll know.
But so few words
May as well go
Unheard.
A voice muffled
by fear,
Is only words
Unspoken.
-a.l.c
I feel the weight but it’s still not enough
To keep me down, I keep getting up.
Maybe these stones are only heavy
On the chest, yet meant to break bones,
But the heart is strong and hopeful,
So it keeps pumping blood…
It just wants to live,
But we call this love.
a.l.c
(Unconditional love is often misunderstood and overpowered by our subconscious survival instincts and our needs and fears.)
**follow me on IG @pouringtruth
You’ve got red shoes
Only to dance on life’s fire,
A practiced choreography
Or just your quickstep.
I wear a yellow jacket,
Long with swallowtail,
A shield of protection
Or just my birthright.
-a.l.c
pouringtruth 